Be Real Be Happy

what are u doing and where are u

2011-12-19T17:10:00.000+08:00

i forgot my password. havent been blogging cause of that. should have known i never change my password.

first post since a long while.

lots has changed since my last post. i did all right for my first semester as a grad student. results came out a few days ago. i did all right. but now i have to work even harder. specialisation modules begins this coming semester. no more studying basic and non-environmental related modules. thank goodness.

current listening to Sedang Apa Dan Di Mana by Sammy Simorangkir.

reminded me of him... this song is about him. well.. not every line. but, its him.

Its okay if its not my time now.

2011-08-10T17:18:00.000+08:00

i finally watched tv today. i havent been watching tv for so long i forgot the last time i did. anyways. saw a movie. 'All About Steve'.

Mary Horowitz is my new idol.

her character atleast.

following a guy around hoping he was her ticket to normality and love perhaps, and in the end realizing that she was all right all along. just inspires me.

im okay now. im okay with where i am. i still believe theres hope for me in this whole love thing. but maybe its not my time yet. maybe ive been in love with the idea of love that ive just been suffocating myself all this while with something that does not exist.

so im okay now. letting things be the way it has to be. im not going to force anything anymore. if it happens, than ill be the happiest girl alive. if it does not. its okay. tomorrow may be the day. and if not, the next day or the day after that.

looking at things in a positive light is surely an amazing feeling.

my problem is holding on to this. we shall see.

**oh and janet jackson's again, brings back old memories, of when i was a kid and ive no worries but school fees =p ***

All over again.

2011-08-06T22:49:00.000+08:00

mood: terrible.

what are my expectations? NOT to study core modules! i did not sign up for them. i wanted to specialised. why am i enrolled into basic classes? dont get me wrong but basics are important. but i didnt sign up for it. i want to move on straight to environmental studies.

today, my eyes were open wide.

today, i give up.

today, i regret everything.

today

is not good for me.

i feel like crying.

i was surrounded by all these 'experienced' and 'active speakers' students. i was drowned. i told myself that i need to step up and share what i think. but i couldnt. there were no moment during that 2 hours for me to share anything. you know how ppl say 'there is not such thing as a stupid question'. to this particular lecturer, such things EXISTS. so tell me, how am i suppose to ask anything? i always asked basic things like definition or whatever. if those are stupid what am i suppose to say then? but he later on said that 'this is still a learning process'. what?

im so upset. im blaming others.

in true fact, im upset with myself. i was an undergrad. all over again.

Indon boy Band? interesting.

2011-08-02T15:11:00.000+08:00

this group needs some help with face expressions and body movements. dont get me started with the dance.

BUT.

they can go far. cause they have the voice. and they have the look. well, one more than the others. but that is not the point. vocally, they are GOOD. its just, everything that needs to be work-on more.

i get where the director is taking us, in terms of the concept of the video. but i think even the director needs help. some angels he/she shot makes you go 'huh?'

YET

i cant stop watching the video and listening to the song.

SO

i recommend you to take a few minutes of ur time to watch this.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

end

Settled. for now.

2011-08-01T22:38:00.000+08:00

SELAMAT BERPUASA TO ALL MUSLIMS! RAMADHAN is here yet again! I hope 30 is the magic no. for me this time. AMIN.

on another note:

previous post was a bit over i must admit. i have this habit of letting the world know how angry i am or how upset i am w/o thinking much. i just type it out somewhere. yes, i was mad when i typed that post. cause ive every reason to.

BUT.

after that, it all worked out tho. all i needed was to talk it out. conversation works both ways. everything is clearer after u talk it out.

SO.

i am feeling so much better thank goodness cause now i know whats going on. makes breathing so much easier. so im just gonna state it once here, everything is a-okay. and as it should be. for now.

hopefully i will not present anymore drama here. its not like i actually say what i meant. cause im trying to be as subtle as i possibly can. dont want nobody to know much about certain things.

y this post then? just cause its my blog and i can do whatever i please. LOL.

Guess what?

2011-07-31T17:34:00.000+08:00

guess what?

i did it. i finally told him.

and?

-- no respond.
-- no comment.
-- its as if i never said anything important.

guess what?

MEN are evil.

guess what?

im NEVER doing that again.

I have to do this.

2011-07-29T16:57:00.000+08:00

my current song. yes im all drama these days.

im going to tell him soon. i think i need to start taking care of myself now. i think its time, i get what i deserve.

maybe ill update this blog about that when that happened.

it will be days until ill see him online again.s o for now. imma be all down and moody and all emotional.

you know that feeling, when u cant seem to find comfort or be at peace because u havent finish what u wanted to get done with? thats how im feeling now. the more this stays in me, the longer ill be all emotional. so i hope this will end soon. im exhausted. i cant do this to myself anymore.

Orientation 2011

2011-07-27T19:37:00.000+08:00

today was my Orientation Day for Grad Students at UBD.

i didnt expect that much people applying. there were a lot of people. a few international students. i think one is from the middle east. but i could be wrong.

i never went to my Orientation when i was an Undergrad. student cause i was the 2nd intake/batch. yeah im not ashamed of that whatsoever. moving on.

just going to record my experience here for a bit.

the briefing was, shorter than i expected. it seemed at first like it was going to take forever. i woke up and already i told myself i didnt want to go. but anyways, it was compulsory. the food was allright. the registration process was easy. just two stop and thats it. the girl who helped my friend and i *i didnt ask for help tho* WERENT helpful. and the dude who tried as well, didnt know what he was doing either. but no matter, we found our way. no difficulties.

i already found 3 goodlooking guys im gonna keep my eyes on. im the type to always have a crush on someone to make my day moer brighter. every yr, i always have my eye on one dude or 2-3 it depends. but 4 years in UBD, didnt see none. except one. but that was the last semester if im not mistaken. so that wasnt that much fun. im not a stalker and i dont approach these guys. i just like knowing that ill bump into them some time in the day. makes the day so much better.

today i saw 3. two stands out the most! i hope none are in my classes. cause then ill be very very shy. so i need them to be outside of my classes. the other one i saw during the briefing, but i didnt really look at too long cause of the 2 guys. so this 3rd guy i saw after, at the food court in Giant. yeah, he is VERY VERY goodlooking. okay enough of this.

just telling my story for the day. *smiles*

Am i in Your Tomorrow?

2011-07-26T12:02:00.000+08:00

So anyone who knows me, knows that i have two sisters. one 2 years younger than me and the other 4 years younger. Ofcourse we disagree and agree about anything a lot. recently we have been talking about 'LOVE'. yeah, what a topic huh?

my youngest sister and myself are apparently similar. We are willing to continue liking/loving someone even though we know in the end, nothing will come out of it. my first sister asks often 'WHY?' why would anyone want to go through all that knowing that in the end, nothing has really change? you are still without his love? why must anyone want that?

i grew up liking guys from afar. so it never really bothered me to be the only one who has feelings while the other one, does not really know i exist.. or does but does not feel the same way. But yes, now, im starting to think about it.

in my case at the moment. I KNOW there is no future with him and i. because there is no present either. if that makes any sense. i refused to make 'distance' as a reason for this. we started off meeting each other from a distant anyways. well, i made that sound as if he is near now. well, he is not. we never met.

last night, i stayed up thinking about this. i wondered why everyone who knows about this calls me 'blind'. so i put myself in their shoes. because when u watch movies or hear your friends' stories about their dramas, you noticed that they were or are being played and that they do not see it. so from the outsiders poitn of view, you are under a spell. but from your point of view, they are crazy.

so i put myself in the outsiders' point of view.

i started to noticed little things that are signs that, i am someone, but i am not the one and that i wont become anything more than that. so i question myself, why am i still sticking around the way im sticking around? we started off like this. not as friends. so i wonder if i dont stick around, then theres nothing between us. cause we are not friends. we skipped that part. we are not in a relationship either. so its difficult. how can i stay in the persons' life, if im not what i am to him right now? we dont have a future, but we are not friends either. so how am i going to stay in his life?

its the little things i noticed last night that made me believe further that, in the end, this will hurt bad. because i cannot deny that i have little hope. everyday, i have this little hope to keep me going. just maybe today will be the day for me. maybe today.

my youngest sister and i both agree that, its that 'feeling' you get when you feel like someone is feeling the same way as you do. someone is making you feel like your special in their eyes. in whatever ways he does it, he is making you feel special. and its not everyday that you can find a guy who does that for you. You with all your faults, someone actually likes you. that feeling, made people blind to the inevitable. it makes you feel good. makes you feel happy. if not, the happiest you ever felt. but its temporary. it does not go on for the whole day. it stopped after an hour or so and your back to reality check. 'nothing will happen between you both'.

if you want it, and the other does not. what are you suppose to do? let go? and go back to feeling like you are not worth anybodys' time of the day. not even a minute of their day? to know that somoen out there is thinking about you the way you are thinking about him.. its just so hard to find. and when you find it, arent you suppose to hold on to it?

im getting more confused now.

i know that some people are not as lucky as others. some people found their true love and it comes easily for them. they dont have to work to keep their relationship. others, have to work for it. keep it strong so it wont break. will i be one of those people? having to work hard to make sure he stays? doesnt that mean that i have to continuously imperss him? make sure that his needs comes first? and worst, not be myself?

this is stupid. i have no solutions to any of these questions.

i know the only thing to do is to let go. but i cannot be his friend. and i am clearly not going to be his future. but i do not want to not be part of his life atleast. my biggest question now is, 'does he want to be part of my life in someway?'.

i can never get a direct answer from him. so thus, this blog post.

well, my first sister does not believe that love will come out from someone who made one tiny mistake. she does not forgive him and he will be 'dead in her book'. cause automatically for her, when one man has one typical male behaviour that is nasty, he has all others following that. so men are doomed to be similar should they even posses one unacceptable behaviour. well, this is in her opinion ofcourse.

and i DO NOT share the same opinion.

i give people chances. if they change for you, then you know you are important to them. men do have huge egos after all. 'nobody change them!' but thats another story.

He is not coming back.

2011-07-21T23:49:00.001+08:00

listening to this makes me remember 'him'.

he came and didnt stay long. but whenever he was around... even when time wasnt our friend, every moment, just meant something. there was a connection between us. even if how we met, where we were meeting does not pass as real, it was real to me. i felt it. when you feel something so strong, how can it not be real? how can it not be real?

it was as easy as breathing with him. he understood who i am. and i understood who he was. we knew each other so well and so quickly that we could finish each others' sentences. even though we didnt know each other long. 2-3 months, it felt like i knew him forever.

i didnt want to talk about this on my blog. but listening to this *above clip* just made me wanna say it out loud. tell my story.

it hurt bad when he left. it hurt bad knowing why he left. it hurts worst knowing that he felt what i felt and yet, he had to say goodbye. how can two people, who connected in this almost magical way, have to say goodbye to each other? it does not make any sense. you let go of someone, if they are not right for you. if they hurt you. but letting go of someone when they are right for you? how can that make any sense at all?

sometimes i just got tired of listening to people telling me that i need to find a 'real' guy. whats real? when i felt it. its real, I FELT IT. u dont, so you dont know if its real or not. just because you cannot see him infront of you standing infront of you does not mean he does not exist. isnt that what the opposite of real is? i just wanted so badly for people to understand that somethings are just untouchable but doesnt mean it aint real.

he was real to me. he was.

**i apologize if i said anything that might offend anyone or some sort, its not my intention *sp? at all, just felt like i needed to let it all out, cause this blog is after all called 'BE REAL BE HAPPY'** and im being real in thsi post.

this song is super powerful. SUPER powerful.

Attracted.

2011-07-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

this guy is my latest obsession. he is hilarious! like seriously!!

he is musically talented, funnny, CUTE!, i love his talking voice, pretty smexy, he is smart too! and he knows how to cook!

im so into him. his gf is super lucky.

i subscribed to his channel awhile back. but i forgot why. so today this afternoon, i just started to watch his videos. now i am hooked.

today's repeat songs.

2011-07-17T11:45:00.000+08:00

on repeat: all of the above.

Day out with the sisters.

2011-07-15T22:37:00.000+08:00

went to timesquare with my sisters today to sing karoke. yeap. sang a lot. but a bit depressing tho. i didnt expect to sound the way i sounded. i couldnt hear myself much. and when i did get to hear my voice.. i didnt really like it. anyways.

there were not a lot of ppl singing. just us and this guy - on his own.. *sad face* anyways. so when we finished, we went out from the tiny room and to our surprise there were ppl just staring at us. we realized then that, when we went out of the room, we could hear the dude sining VERY CLEARLY. so high chances those people outside heard us. and we didnt sing all good either. so that was embarassing.

either way, had a good time.

Waterfront fun with the Girls.

2011-07-14T13:24:00.000+08:00

currently have this song on repeat. She has totaly out-done herself this time. i love everything about this song. the video is perfect as well.

on another note. sharing a few pictures i took of my hangout night with friends last night at waterfront. im waiting for my friend to upload some on facebook. should be any day now.

present that night: asmah, mui, mas, amal, maj and mad. well, myself as well. we had a good time that night. and accidentally disturbed a couple who was having their own sweet moment at that time. it was raining. we had to find shelter and still has lots to talk about as well. the hut was the only one nearby. they can find another place to 'date'. sorry. but anyways, i met my friend from UBD that night as well. didnt get to talk to her, we just waved and sent a silent-far-away hello to each other. we werent that far away. but anyways. it was a good night.

mad -- it wasnt that awkward. hehehehe. we have another plan for next wk. karaoke. I CANNOT WAIT.

No more frowning for myself.

2011-07-13T08:50:00.004+08:00

songs currently on repeat:

1) Claude Kelly - The air that you breathe.
2) Sara Evans - A Little Bit Stronger.
3) 5ive - Its the things that you do.
4) 5ive - Until the time is through.
5) Train - When i look to the sky.
6) Colour me Badd - Earth, sun and rain.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

good morning.

my daily routine starts at 7am every morning. friday till sunday, it starts aroun 7.50am. but anyways. you get the point - i wake up early. ive been struggling to throw away bad habits and working on a few things that i have not even thought of doing. im very determine. i have a goal to reach by the end of this year and i hope ill make it. im being subtle arent i? <--- i recently learn about the word. if i use it correctly *jumps up and down* if not.. well...

so anyways, im trying to lose weight. there, i said it.

im tired of waking up, and looking at myself and feeling disgusted and upset and depress. im not happy. i think i never been. i think ive been holding to this 'happy' idea for so long now it almost felt real. im not happy with my life. im not happy with where i am, and who i am as a person. im not happy.

i will try my best to keep documenting my journey to weight-loss here. id post non-edited picture of myself here, but im not ready yet for that. id post a video here instead of typing this all down, but im not ready either. but thats a good idea tho. maybe i should do that. *thinks*

i have two goals to reach by the end of this year. preferrably before i turn 25!

1) have a flat tummy. * if you read my post about my visit to the clinic/hospital* ull get what i mean.
2) take a picture of myself FREE FROM any sort of EDITING.

im about 12days in already. so, ive a long way to go still.

****** this will be the only post about my weight-loss journey in this blog, the actual documentation will be transferred to a new blog of mine, only to be shared to specific people, unless u can find it on your own that is******

smiles

2011-07-12T21:26:00.003+08:00

HOW cool is this?

we could have easily been from the same salon! or dress room whatever.

its like im infront of him.

donghae oppa is not blonde today. he chop his hair off. neat short dark dark brown hair colour. VERY HOT. but i love him in blonde too.

if siwon oppa wasnt there, i could photoshop these. lol.

donghae oppa! i miss you.

**im dreaming about him tonight**

Reflecting on life So Far.

2011-07-12T11:04:00.002+08:00

things have definetely changed since my last post. i do not look forward to the last few hours before i go to bed now. theres nothing for me to look forward to. i asked this question to my sisters and i tweeted about it as well:

"which hurts more, getting cheated by someone you loved, to love someone who does not love you back or left by someone who you cared about?"

out of all those, ive experienced 2 of them. wont say which ones tho. but anyways, im curious. my sisters both agreed on 'getting cheated by someone you loved' as hurting the most. but that was before i add the last one.. originally there were only the first two options. yeah, im gonna re-ask them the question again. maybe i should ask everyone i know.

i havent been blogging much these days because of those spammers on my chatbox on your right. they're messing with my blog-vibe. not that, their irrelevant comments made any difference or what so ever. yeah i just made a point there. i hate it when i made myself see something about myself that i didnt see earlier. i ended up talking like a fool.

moving on. i guess i should start blogging again? theres just so much social networks now to check through for me. but the ones i spend most of my time in, is 2ndlife. i think i spend too much time in it. its starting to blur the reality VS virtual world lines. everything seemed to be connected now. im in way way too deep. i have a job in there. me, a JOB? can u believe that? in reality, getting a job scares the heck out of me. friends on my FB, who has transition from a student to an employee, complains on a daily basis how they just want to rest, too tired to go to work, they want to get MC. the list just goes on and on. doesnt seem like they are too happy.

i dont spend my time too much on FB, and yet the little things that i read when i refresh the news feed, made me feel less of myself than i already do. what is up with that? how are these people, that i do not see everyday, for years even, affects me today? i have no clue. im just so eager to get out and find my own life. and here, sitting infront of the laptop daily just isnt something that i ever thought of doing. i grew up imagining doing awesome things and being an awesome person.. *stares at the mirror* thats not what i see.

i sound like im already too old to do anything. im still 24 god damn it. i need a slap across my face and to be dragged out of this miserable self-hating hole im in. not healthy. not healthy.

JP girls night-out

2011-05-19T16:24:00.013+08:00

more than a month. that's how long i have not been updating my blog. didnt plan on creating a new post either. but, im here anyways.

Life has been routine. my responsibility as a driver has trippled *sp? since my last post blog. every day i look forward to the few hours before i have to go to sleep. but im not going to say what it is here.

last night, after so long, i finally went out with my friends to JP. been wanting to go there with them for so long now. even though most of the rides were close due to the rain, and on top of that, not much rides there anyways, i still think it was a good idea. the rain just made the night extra memorable i guess. it would be better if there were more people, however, it was wednesday night after all. sharing a few pictures here i took of the night.

rozaino

2011-04-05T17:46:00.002+08:00

my Roza has found someone.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Just another Day

2011-03-23T13:13:00.003+08:00

introducing my new Roza.

shes been with me for a few days now. hurrah.

i still have a few more things to work on her, but she IS better than Ava i must say.

guess everything happens for a reason.

but id like to have my 1000lindens from Ava tho.

-------------------------------------------------------------

on another note

havent been blogging lately. about myself atleast.

submitted my graduate programme application a month ago.

i wont hear anything until july i think.

so for the time being, i do not have much to do.

or u could say, ive nothing to do.

but im not complaining.

im not lazy, i just want to not do anything for now.

currently, my song is:

i love this song.

gonna learn the words and start singing my heart out.

enjoy.

first picture of Roza

2011-03-19T14:39:00.002+08:00

this is my Roza Ella.

she is in the process of an ultimate make-over.

she MUST look better than Ava.

she MUST or ill never leave lindens-collecting EVER.

5th Day as Roza

2011-03-18T17:38:00.003+08:00

today is the 5th day, im away from Ava Rose. Im close to reaching my 1000lindens goal. very excited about that. in 5 days ive collected quiet a lot already. this is good. what took me a month to collect before, now looked like will be just a week. AMIN.

havent met anyone yet under Roza. been busy with lindens cause ive no choice. it doesnt look like ill ever get my Ava back. it still pisses me off. terminated for absolutely nothing. something that is not even my fault. anyways, i do not want to get into this again. ill just focus on making my Roza AV even better or the same as Ava.

SL NIGHTMARE

2011-03-15T11:06:00.004+08:00

yesterday was one of the worst SL day ever in my SL life! well.. i was pissed off and heartbroken in RL to, so i guess yesterday was one of the worst days of my life.

I just turned 4months old, with Ava Rose/Cleo Juoda last 12th march. was very excited about it. and i managed to collect more than L$1000 in a month. worked hard for it. and I JUST CHANGED MY OUTFIT, ready to use it for a few days.

in the public sandbox * a place where boxes that are given to you, or bought by you, can be open*, i was minding my own business, changing my Avatars' clothes when all of a sudden, a girl IM me and gave me 'free 20 female shapes'. i didnt need them because i love my shape already. so i just thanked her. not thinking of opening *rezzing in SL* it. she asked me if i could open it, cause she wanted to see if she gave me the right one.

looking at her profile, she was new. not even a day old yet. but her avatar looks like it has been on SL for years. so i figure, its probably an alternate AV. moving on, i agreed. took the box out. and immediately, boxes came floading out, not just 10boxes, but HUNDREDS! and they were not small tiny boxes, they were bigger than the AV size boxes. it went up to the sky, to the left to the right. literally just messing with the land. ppl cant go in in peace. cant rez their stuffs in peace. and it just lag the whole land. a numver of ppl IM me asking me to stop it. since i never experienced anything like that, i couldnt even if i want to. i really have no clue how to get stop it.

i got logged out by the administrators of Linden Lab 4 times. i kept trying to come back in to solve the problem and ask help from ppl. but i got logged out too quickly to do that. and NOW, MY 4 MONTHS OLD 1000LINDEN AVATAR HAVE BEEN TERMINATED! it took me SO LONG to make her look the way she looked. i was aiming to reach 2200Lindens to get a new SKIN. but NOW, BECAUSE OF THE BITCH *CHRISTINAsomething something* I CANT NEVER DO THAT WITH MY AVA ROSE!! you son of the bitch, i swear, if i see you again, ill strangle you ALIVE!

my new account now, is desperate. i had to ask ppl for help! i have to make sure this avatar earns more lindens and is more pretty than my previous. i lost FRIENDS too. not that i have many. i have 3 that i trusted the most. i remember all their names. so that's okay. i can just re-add them. but my av at the moment is hideous. its so NEW. and im so UPSET. there are some in my list that i think are worth re-adding as well. but unfortunately i cant remember their names. esp the spellings. never thought i need to memorize. well, there goes my SL life. i love Ava Rose. I love everything about her. all my hard work.

i dont understand how can someone do this to another person? it doesnt make sense. does it satisfy them that ppl are suffering? idiots! i dont even want to try to understand these types of ppl. they are DISGUSTING! pisses me off. and its already the next day. have to look at my NEWBIE av. im so pissed off.

***UPDATE: i finally reached 100Lindens today***
all i need now is 900lindens. need 350lindens for hair. and ill ask around any kind soul who wants to lend me their un-use skins. the high quality skins. atleast.

i did meet 4 very AWESOME ppl yesterday. one gave me 52Lindens. another gave me AN AWESOME AO. better than Ava Rose *happy for that* and two gave me shapes, skins and hair. just by reading my profile! well, the girl who gave me AO, i asked. but other than that, the rest helped me out w/o me asking. im very grateful for them! they are the reason that SL is worth it. wish theres more ppl like that.

(lost my AVA ROSE/CLEO JUODA on the 14th of March 2011, in Public Sandbox, Cleans every 2 hours) *silence*

safari from the balcony

2011-03-04T11:53:00.003+08:00

on the 2nd of march was my mothers bday.

and there was no power that afternoon till sometime after magrib.

this picture was taken by my sister from our balcony.

the sunset.

looks like the safari doesnt it?

i like it.

sharing my Ava photos

2011-02-28T23:04:00.006+08:00

sharing a few of my profile 2ndlife pictures that i took and edited.

these are just some of my photos.

in the process of taking more.

but i need to earn more cash first so im inspired to take more photos.

need new clothes constantly.

so yes, my back aches badly.

but im so determined to collect more cash that i just dont care at the moment.

the last outfit i bought was a let-down.

so i NEED to buy a new outfit!

Its Over

2011-02-22T16:24:00.002+08:00

first listened to this song when i watched the last episode of American Idol.

totally addicted to this ever since.

Day 9.

2011-02-17T11:22:00.004+08:00

today is Day 9. im happy to say that by Day 7. i was already feeling GOOD. feels very good indeed.

on another note.

- HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY FRIEND, AMAL! -

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another Day

2011-02-13T11:28:00.003+08:00

Day 4 -- was terrible.

today is Day 5. so far, its not going good. and its not even 12pm yet. this is going to be a long day.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i found a perfect song for me now. its an old favourite of mine.

Ina - I wanted You.

Day 3

2011-02-12T12:42:00.003+08:00

Date 3. (a day late)

it was a terrible day for me.

woke up in a bad mood and stayed in a bad mood until i finally go back to bed.

woke up feeling better.

felt even better when an exact distraction came into picture.

it was just what i needed.

this distraction, took a few painful hours away.

i felt better.

Day 2

2011-02-10T21:58:00.003+08:00

Day 2.

im feeling better. thank Allah.

smiling is easier today.

laughing is easier today.

i can do this.

Day 1

2011-02-09T22:40:00.003+08:00

DAY 1

i woke up sure of myself. i woke up sure.

but as the day continues.

it started to hit me.

how could i let myself fall so deep?

how can i want this?

what was going through my mind when i gave in?

i think im getting sick.

i cant feel my eyes.

they are heavy.

they are weak.

my heart is weak.

let it go..

2011-02-09T16:42:00.001+08:00

this song sings of me.

tissue paper

2011-02-09T10:30:00.003+08:00

to all the gurls out there:

a friend i met on 2ndlife one time told me,

"I'm a nice guy, BUT IM STILL A GUY"

if we cant trust nice guys, and the assholes out there as well, then what type of guy do we trust? they are all the same. assholes.

NO FATHERS DAY FOR YOU TISSUE PAPER!

Two songs from youtuber

2011-02-06T17:12:00.002+08:00

played both of the clips above over and over again.

might as well share them here as well.

enjoy

going back in time

2011-02-06T11:35:00.002+08:00

ah~ memories.

i love this song.

i love this movie.

i love everything about this.

im in the mood to go back in time.

killing me softly

2011-02-06T11:22:00.003+08:00

i favourite a tweet from NewReleaseInfo:

"Time moves slowly when you are not having fun"

i experienced this so many times i lost count. its during these times that things can easily turn awkward. and then boring. and then numb. but even after many times going through this, i still am not used to it. it still kills me to just sit and pretend that im busy and doing something, just to avoid the awkward situations, when infact, im screaming from the inside. this brings me back to those times when i spend 4 years of my life running. those times when the car is my bestfriend and home is where i can breathe normaly. those times when i pray, i get to the parking lot in a blink of an eye. just wanted to get away from everything. and everyone. im scarred *sp? for life with this memory. FOR LIFE. i need not go into details on this one. i probably have mentioned it earlier in my many posts back.

time also moves slowly when you wait! apparently. a second, is like a minute. it tears you up inside. just waiting for the clock to tick. just waiting. all you need is a reply. just a reply. but by the time you get it, the time is up. and then you probably will wait some more on the next round. that kills me. its like waiting for your exam results to come out. it sucks doesnt it? it sucks. im going nowhere on this one. today, this is my quote.

My job these few days

2011-02-03T13:09:00.002+08:00

what have i been doing for the past few days?

*looks up*

watching the news while staying online in 2ndlife in case Mo. logs on.

Update: released, but still worried.

2011-02-03T11:35:00.005+08:00

ava & mo

on the 7th day, exactly midnight. I finally received news from him.

i stayed up as long as i could because i was afraid that the internet will be disrupted there again and i will not be able to get a hold of him. it has been a torture to not know if he was all right.

i tweeted : "I stand where he stands".

since im a Bruneian, it does not matter much if im a pro or anti Mubarak. I only knew about his existence last sunday. so i am in no position to side with either one. but i am with him. if he supports and for Mubarak, so will i. there's pros and cons with both anyways.

listening to one of the protestors in tahrir : Salma. ive been following what is going on around her since the clash broke out. she is very passionate and very concerned about people around her.

so far, in my opinion, there are 3 parties in egypt, the Mubarak supporters, the anti-Mubarak regime and those who are at home and not physically participating in the demonstration. if its possible, i hope to be able to get the opinions of these ppl from the news soon. so far, it has been focussed mostly in tahrir and on the clash. indeed it is important to document every second of this historical event, but we have to remember, the world needs to know the story of EVERY EGYTPTION physically participating and those that are not. everyone in that country is affected by this. we all know that.

everyone is hurting everyone involved in tahrir, cairo.

all i need to know is that he is all right and far away from the centre of these violent clashes. all i hope for now is that no danger comes to him and his circle of family and friends. he has been staying awake pass curfew, protecting his family properties with swords and knives. just the thing im fearing for.

I KNOW.

2011-02-03T00:18:00.003+08:00

HE IS ONLINE. HE IS ONLINE. HE IS ONLINE.

HE IS OKAY. HE IS OKAY. HE IS OKAY.

im shaking and i cant stop shaking. im too happy as of right now.

worried for him.

2011-02-01T13:28:00.003+08:00

WORRIED FOR HIM.

another fav. youtuber

2011-01-31T11:26:00.003+08:00

currently hooked watching this over and over again.

being a woman, i understood majority of the comments by them girls.

like seriously.

crying for you

2011-01-30T23:54:00.003+08:00

http://www.hrw.org/egypt-live-updates

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/29/world/middleeast/29alexandria.html?_r=1&ref=egypt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAXWUrTjB14

ive never read any news so deeply as i am following the news on Egypt these days.

im worried for him.

i am worried for him.

these news and this clip i shared here does not make me feel any better.

what is worst is that i do not know if he is okay.

i do not know.

it has been 3 days.

tomorrow is suppose to be his last day of exams.

is is still going on there?

i dont know.

im going insane.

ava & mo

2011-01-29T17:03:00.004+08:00

just sharing a picture i edited of mo & ava.

one of the many pictures im hoping to edit. this is one of my fav.

and both of them do not look like this today.

totally change.

just a quick info:

ava is 2months old, coming 3 this 11th feb. and mo is 11month old, and will be a yr old in a few days. i dont know why im sharing this, but just feel like it.

so i was planning to rent a house/apartment/skybox today and i went crazy looking for the right one. until i realized that i need to earn more lindens to be able to get a place. but i did win a small house tho. that is super cool. just need a land. cheap land.

okay for those who have no clue of what im talking about,

its

my 2ndlife.

Oh my backache!

2011-01-29T11:24:00.003+08:00

i woke up and immediately reach out for my phone and checked my mails. Egypt was trending like mad on twitter yesterday. and i only managed to read the news this morning. government, politics, unfair treatments the list goes on. all i know for certain is that, the violence seemed to be the strongest, in Cairo. so that is away from Alexandria. at the moment, that is all i care about.

moving on, 31st of January is just around the corner. no more exams for 'em. awesome.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

on another note.

my back has been hurting for a couple of days now. i know very well why that is so. ive been spending tooo much time infront of my laptop. so im trying to win lindens in SL. its very addictive. my back never hurt this much when i was playing The SIms. and we all know how i get when i play The Sims. that reminds me, its been awhile since i build houses. oh how i miss thee.

so okay, last night, i promised myself that today, i shall spend less time infront of my laptop. i will stilll be able to win lindens. all i have to do is come back in and out to check on the no. of seconds. easy. as a matter of fact, im waiting for lindens as i type this. i managed to reach 400 linden dollars yesterday. but i spent them. darn shopping sometimes.

Sad Day.

2011-01-22T21:54:00.003+08:00

today is a sad day indeed for my family. my nini bungsu passed away around lunch time. for the first time, i cried. i was too young when my grandfather died that i do not remember crying. but today, for my nini bungsu, i did. it took me a few minutes to get it all in. i was shaking, and my heart was beting very fast. on top of that, i happened to listen to a sad song. so that made it all worst.

the worst thing is, only tonight did i found out that, this morning, my nini bungsu specifically request that all the sungai akar relatives be there at her home. only tonight i found out. i was not told. i was not there. and now my heart aches even more. it was one of the darkest lunch hour of my life. im maybe being a little over the top here, but i really felt terrible.

every raya, my family would visit her home. and every yr, she would take pictures of us. she loves taking photographs. last yr we did not managed to visit her. i dont even know what else to say.

Al-Fatihah.

living w/o a life

2011-01-19T11:24:00.005+08:00

currently listening to RaVaughn - Nowhere. and im hooked. was trying to post the clipc here, but i cant seem to find the link. oh well. anyways. so i havent been blogging about much lately. usually there'd be something im pissed off about and start blogging. but i just dont have anything im pissed off on.

guess ill update my life. living w/o a life is dull. i have one thing i look forward to everyday. but majority i believe will never look at 'that' as living. maybe. im not so sure. im part of this whole new world. but to what extent is this virtual life - living? sometimes, i believe that this life is real. i just cant touch it. but i can feel it. but at most times, im convinced that it is not. being sucked into this just plays with my mind a lot. was suppose to detach myself from the beginning. but im not someone who comes in feeling-less. everything requires me to feel it to get the experience. i believe that 55% of the true me is playing the game. and it is always risky because, there is no manual book for this. everyone experiences the game differently. noone can tell me what to do next, how to feel, how to play. even as im typing all this bull i have no clue what im talking about.

i have 15 minutes until i have to go pick my mum up from work. just some random information there. telling ya'll what i do everyday. so yes, how far is this new world, a reality? i mean, everything about it wont run the way it is running now, w/o actual live people controling it. to enter into their imaginations and re-creating them to fit your own fantasies, shouldnt that mean something? im struggling to defend myself, but i think im failing at that. every word in thsi post does not make sense. does not go with each other. not in sync. im still unsure at this point.

then what is the purpose of this post? to show how confused i am. period. so i took a picture of my RealLife friend playing the game with me. (look up) i finally was able to help a friend out with her look. last help went to another RealLife friend - and i failed in that. need to work harder. all i need now is to get my other friend to join this world. you know who you are. *smiles*

pastamania & bowling

2011-01-09T20:09:00.009+08:00

went out with my friends (maj, mal, mas, mui & ct) today. had a blast. very happy the plan happened. our first hang-out for 2011. awesome. more plans to come. Insya-Allah. anyways, i did not bowl this time tho. but it was fun looking at the different style the gurls have when they bowl. my pastamania food was - not my fav. not gonna eat that one again. shud have stick with the tomato sauce dishes. but oh well. chicken ananas was there. =p anyways, mal, mui, mas and ct are continuing the fun tonight with a movie. im too exhausted to join them. i still want the beach plan tho. need to make that happen i think.

when we were bowling, i heard this song that completely blew me away. even with the whole noise going on in the bowling alley *sp? i was able to catch this song. went straight to the lady working there for the name of the song and singer.

Judika - bukan dia tapi aku.

im in love with this song. his voice is unbelievable. absolutely amazing.

to masayu =)

2011-01-02T19:00:00.010+08:00

kay mas, when you plug in your ipod kn, this should muncul. ada dua red circle there. first one, is like ur music ur library in itunes lah tu. n de red circle bwh nya is your ipod. under the 'devices'. that's mine - effa in korean lol u know that. lol.

kay, then arah 'music' atu, the first red circle. you go to file, and then library and etc as shown d picture second. import playlist. ada pop out dari mana music mu. from folders etc. den.

pick one song, sometimes inda ku salah dpt 4-5 songs sekali gus. but cuba one by one dulu lah ah. pick one, n den 'open' - as red circle ku dlm the above pic. den.

maseh arah 'music' ada the song there.

den, step 1. aga ur devices, ur ipod. click on that. den d bwh screen atu ada 2. 'autofill'. click that. and no. 3 will muncul. but liat no.4 first, tunggu abis ya masukkan den u can do the same thing balik2.

go back to music. n den masukkan as much lagu as u want. n den go back to your device, n den autofill and wait.

as can be seen in this picture.

once u are done. liat no.1, ya ckp ok to disconnect. den u click no.2.

and the ipod/device mu ilang. eheheh abiss~~ n den cabut ur ipod and check if ada the songs.

OH AND

kalau music videos ku inda pandai.

i tried masa atu but failed balik2. apaler.

Bowling & Shabu2 with friends

2010-12-24T10:58:00.012+08:00

New Password

2010-12-24T10:52:00.003+08:00

FINALLY! finally i was able to enter my blog. i forgot my password. just want to update a few things here. been hanging out with my friends twice lately. which is GREAT by the way. for those who thinks i stay at home all the time, well, whad'ya think now? anyways. so i am addicted to my new online chat world. i log on there more than 4 times atleast in a day. my parents are not in Brunei at the moment. visiting my brother in melbourne for his graduation. and now my parents are in KL. so okay, because of that i have many chores to do. im in-charge of ironing, rice cooking, cleaning i guess. and i think i have to water the plants. which i did once. so they're dying as i type this. ill get on that later. maybe. i dont like plant watering.

so my new online chat world. 3 people i met there are worth coming back for everytime i logged in. they each stands out on their own terms. one however stands out more. but i rather not talk about that here. i am actually updating my blogs cause ive got a few pictures to upload. ill do that in the following post.

life kedua.

2010-11-19T21:26:00.003+08:00

my life kedua. i rather use malay words for this. to protect my real identity. tho it would work better if i coer my life kedua name.

hmm anyways, just two photos of the many i took in my life kedua.

Cookie anyone?

2010-11-19T17:56:00.003+08:00

First tried this cookie out in Aussie. introduced by mui.

so i bought two boxes and brought it home.

anyways, just uploaded this cause my friend wants it.

*for you mas*

Individually he is...

2010-10-28T22:46:00.002+08:00

the first video i watched of Del's OMA.

this is my fav. cover he did solo.

ENJOY.

Never found someone Like you perf.

2010-10-28T14:07:00.003+08:00

i love love love this performance of Legaci.

i can hear Del's voice clearly.

i sang more passionately in here, well, for me atleast.

just wanna post this up here coz ive had this video opened for 2 days straight now, and i need to close the tab before my computer starts to lag on me.

enjoy.

Happy Bday

2010-10-28T00:42:00.001+08:00

wanna dedicate this post to Del of Legaci.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Wish I was her

2010-10-24T20:20:00.003+08:00

i am so jealous of this girl.

DEL looked at her straight into her eyes if he could, if she just stopped shying away so much. i would kill to be in her position. seriously.

i found out something about DEL last night.

he doesnt listen to lyrics when he hear a song.

he listened to the arrangements of the music and the vocals instead.

TOO

i was so excited when i read that below one of his youtube clips.

i normally just sing along to songs wihout knowing what the song meant. just the whole vocal arrangements were enough for me to call music.

dont get me wrong, donghae oppa is still one of my top men, if not THE man. but for now, DEL @Legaci, is getting all my attention.

he is multi-talented.

what i would give for him to dedicate a song for me and post it on youtube.

a girl can dream right?

More Legaci

2010-10-21T14:20:00.003+08:00

remember LEGACI? i have them posted here awhile back.

so im back with more to go googoo eyes for.

these guys are seriously just amazing!

boyz 2 men and all-4-one era died long long time ago.

which is so sad because they represented REAL MUSIC.

back when music aint about money, women, drugs and crap.

they were the soul of music.

but today, music is about what you wear, how you look and not how you sound like.

i mean, that's what i think atleast.

anyways, so LEGACI is bringing back this solful music!

thank goodness they were born and came together!

or we might prob be listening to the crappy music we have today

FOREVER!

so okay, one of the clips i shared above, is by DOM, who is part of LEGACI incase u guys dont' know.

so he's PURE TALENT.

and i cannot NOT say the same to the rest of the guys!

THEY ARE ALL PURE TALENT!

GENIUS!

-----------------

anda confession, i swear, when they were singing the 'single' song *from one of the clips above, esp. the part where they sang 'boyfriend' i seriously BELIEVE THAT DEL WAS GONNA BE MY BOYFRIEND!!

Can't get enough of these guys

2010-10-13T22:03:00.001+08:00

these guys are awesome!

my latest love

im into david! =p

Pictures are up for hanging

2010-10-12T22:42:00.003+08:00

blurry because i have yet to own a decent camera

but anyways

i finally was able to pick up my official grad. pictures from the photostudio today

they turned out OKAY surprisingly

i really remember being so awkward and so stiff i was worried how my smile would turned out

but thank goodness, they're not bad at all

well, atleast i can say that for myself

my sisters on the other hand think otherwise of themselves in it

but anyways, i will not be posting a close-up shot of both the pictures here

its better to see them up-front i believe

tomorrow i will return my robe to UBD

and i hope that, tomorrow will be the last of UBD ill ever see

well, atleast for now

im sure ill be going again when my sister graduates

AMIN

Nightmare in U** street.

2010-10-10T10:49:00.003+08:00

this picture stood next to my laptop from yesterday night onwards. one of my fav pictures.

mas and I have the same copy =)

so i received a letter from MOE yesterday.

I was rejected for the scholarship because of my 2.2 deg class.

i knew it'lll happen.

how do i feel?

unsure...

i guess....

guess they are really strict now...

im weighing my options now..

i just hope i wont decide to go to UBD nemore...

i have too many nightmares there emotionally...

80% of my time spent in UBD and UBD-related stuffs pains my soul...

holding on to the 20% just doesnt help me like the place and the experience there...

do you ever feel like you hate a particular class, because everyone in there has their own cliques? and u are left out? and you cannot wait for the class to end?

well, that is how i feel, only its not just in classes, its even when i sit outside of the classes waiting for class to begin, even when i walk the hallways.

the 20% is when i walk to meet someone - that makes everythin better and worth it.

after that, the nightmare continues.

id like to never go back there.

EVER.

Possible SNSD presense in Brunei Darussalam

2010-10-03T13:33:00.003+08:00

okay so ive typed this story everywhere in Facebook, in Twitter and in msgs.

SNSD was rumoured to be in Brunei Darussalam since yesterDAY.

the first rumour was them being in EMpire Hotel and some confirm seeing Yoona while the gurls were taking a photoshoot. Some say, an Empire Staff confirmed their presense there that night.

i was not able to go to Empire to see for myself because im bad with directions.

so today, early in the morning, a new set of rumours surfaced.

SNSD was said to be performing in TimeSquare which is close to the airport - when i mean close, i mean, 10 minutes away.. or maybe 5-6minutes. so my sisters and I waited from 9.44am until 11.30am. there were Bru-Sones everywhere, with their SNSD t-shirts on, gifts, cds and dvds and posters and cameras ready in their hands. like us, they waited too.

until they decided that the 'FaceShop' opening ceremony, was just that.. an opening ceremony, so they took off. My sisters and I took off along with them.

We met them again a few minutes later in the Brunei Airport. For those who do not know, Brunei has on ONE AIRPORT.

that was the 2nr rumour of the day.

SNSD will be leaving Brunei/ going to the airport at 12.30pm.

at exactly 12.30pm, 3-4 black vans with black windows, went inside the 'special gate' which opens up straight into the airport runway. we assumed the stars/artists invited last night were in the cars - including SNSD.

at this moment, Bru-Sones were very excited. some ran up hoping to get a view of them from upstairs veranda while others ran down the tiny hill towards the gate only to be stopped by 2 policemen. the sones' crowded the policemen while asking questions.

i think the policemen were no help. so the bru-sones' went back up and into the airport. a few minutes later, my sister saw 3 planes took up right after each other - we believe those are the private planes for the Royal Family.

then, we decided to call it a day.

there are NO SOLID PROOF OF SNSD BEING IN BRUNEI. but if they want to come, we promise, BRU-SONES WILL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW - and ill be tailing right behind them.

Graduation Day Pix part 1

2010-09-30T18:08:00.007+08:00

These are a few pictures taken of me after the graduation.

most of these are either me with my mum or my dad or myself.

i did not get a chance to take photos with my friends cause as soon as we stepped out the entrance door, everyone was no where to be seen.

GRADUATION DAY!

2010-09-30T14:03:00.004+08:00

today is my graduation day!

woke up very early before 5am and my parents and I arrived in UBD around 6.30am, and even then, there were people everywhere. luckily my mum was able to get the first few rows' seat and my dad sat on the first row on the men's side of the Hall. i know, cause i saw both my parents on the screens above the stage. plus, when i was lining up to go up on stage, my mum waved at me.

Alhamdullilah~ i did not fall or embarass myself. it went as smooth as id hope it be. graduation was less lonely to me than rehearsal. i enjoyed my day very much. even if my dad kept taking photos of me under the sun. my sisters saw me on TV and so does my friend. for the first time since a long time, my facebook is active. im usually in for the games. but since my cousinz wedding, i suddenly found uploading pictures pretty fun. though, i still prefer to upload a few photos. no sense in uploading albums and albums of photos that people can easily grab by right-clicking and 'save picture as..'.

so anyways, i would like to document my day as much as i can before the freshness dissolves. some of us X-SAS took pictures togehter. we fail to get others, as they were not around at that time. one of the highlights of my day that was.

for my undergraduate fina; research project - i spent a lpt of my time, going through the UBD convocation booklets fro first year till last year. Ive looked at every name. i had to have a UBD library card to borrow them. for the first time today, i dont have to borrow the booklet, they were given for free, now i have two with me. and the ebst part of them all, MY NAME is IN PAGE 24. my name...

i did not cry, i thought i will, but i didnt. i did not get to take pictures with all my friends before i left though. but im hoping to gather some and meet up in a studio somewhere. that will be very awesome.

i will upload pictures here soon. Insya Allah.

ONE MORE THING: i had a plan to congratulate this dude i sort of like, but i couldnt find him. when i left, his car was no where to be found. he pobably left earlier than me. but this last day of meeting him, he parked in the same parking lot as i did. =)

once again,

CONGRATULATIONS TO UBD GRADUATES of 2010!

sneak pk into GRADUATION

2010-09-27T19:26:00.004+08:00

i have not graduated just yet.

this is a picture taken on the full dress rehearsal of our 22nd convocation - 27th of September 2010 (today)

i was a bit lonely on the first few rehearsals.

but the 3rd aka the picture above, was less lonely and i had fun! i was comfortable, i still cough but not as much as the rehearsals before.

2 more days till i graduate! AMIN AMIN~

i hope to upload loads of pictures here....

After Wedding Ceremony

2010-09-27T18:59:00.004+08:00

so the 2nd person in my huge family to get married is my first cousin, Abg Irwan, my tua (uwa) son on the 26th of September 2010.

Location: Bridex Dewan

Rest was not an option for maybe about 2 wks or more.
Since hari raya, esp with 2 open houses - i fell sick, but have not rest yet, so therefore, im still sick today.

wedding followed immediately after the hari raya and then in between of the many wedding events, i had my convocation rehearsal for my graduation.

so im in deep need of rest!

but nehoo, after the wedding, i had to take a few snapshots of myself with my sisters and mum so i wont forget that day. ofcoz, its a wedding after all. all the young ladies on my side had to wear grey - specific materials were given beforehand. and the brides' family wore green.

i forgot to bring my phone and my cam corder that day. of all the days to forget.
luckily, many took photos and videos. so i can just grab from them.

this is my sister, my mum and myself in our living room. do not be fooled. those smiles are NOT GENUINE! we were so exhausted that the only thing we could do is smile - movement was just so impossible at the time.

this picture i took of my sisters and my mum.

so i dont take a lot of photos cause my battery ran low.

im currently waiting for my cousin to upload the pictures so i can steal them n re-load them here =p

until then...

Graduation Fever

2010-09-21T00:21:00.003+08:00

Sam Tsui's song Dont want an ending

is the perfect song for graduation fever.

whenever i listen to this, i picture what i didnt do, what i did and what i want to do as an Undergraduate...

30th of september is coming near.

the moment that a lot of people have been waiting for is coming!

i have been dreaming of graduating for as long as i know how to create stories in my head

aka, Backstreet Boys days =p

AMIN AMIN Ya'Rabbal Alamin

everything will go as smooth as we imagined on that day...

I baked chicken

2010-09-07T10:05:00.003+08:00

so i dont have a camera but a cam corder, so this is as HQ as it gets.

yesterday i made

Baked Oriental Wings

which i followed very closely from food-for-thought blog.

if i left them in the oven for another 10minutes, they'll prob will turn out delicious.

but i took them out early so as a result, some of them were not well-done.

i can still smell the garlic on my palms.

its quite yummy.

need more practice tho.

on to my next food.

Jaechunsu & 2pm updates

2010-09-06T14:02:00.003+08:00

Jachunsu latest video/song.

honestly, nothing about this song, and the video reminds me of dbsg. it felt like i was watching a new group. i love them still. but i just wish that 5 were in the video.

however i felt it still does not stop me from crying when i watch this PV.

c'mon dbsg - drop everything and re-start TOGETHER.

latest 2nd encore concert of 2pm.

KHottest were amazing!

they made our boys cry. this is one of the most touching things ive seen done by korean fans to their idols. one of the best! if i allow myself to think of more, ill probably come up with a list. but for the moment, im really touched and i really love hottests.

living w/o a life

2010-08-25T17:41:00.003+08:00

i have successfully completed 13days? (as of today) of Fasting.

there goes my chance of fasting for a month.

better luck next yr. AMIN.

moving on to my latest updates.

so life has been slow these days, i guess.

those applying for a september/october admission probably has news from those various universities they have applied for by now.

and all left to do is to wait for MOE to give the green light on them scholarships.

i have not even applied on the other hand.

the universities that im aiming to get into for my masters, updated me on the dates of application submission - october & november.

so what have i been doing lately?

nothing - well, atleast nothing that related to universities that is.

im currently occupying myself 24/7 with facebook games and 2 series - gossip girl & Greek.

i guess you can confirm that i, am living, but i have no life.

so the plan here is this.

im waiting to submit my applications by october and november.

because after all, i am aiming for next year.

there are just so many things going on this year - convocation, my cousin's marriage, family vacation for my brothers' graduation.

i cannot apply this year no matter what.

so my father insists that i go get a job while waiting for the 'rejection for scholarship' news to hit home.

so yes, my father has no hope that MOE will give me a scholarship.

esp since i only manage to get a 2.2 deg. class.

i, on the other hand, do have hope.

sure, the chance is slim, but what's the harm in believing right?

i figure, if i have to get a job and apply from there, than i will.

all i need is for the MOE to confirm the rejection.

then im on my way to the labour market.

so you can imagine how thrill i am about working.

just so if you dont get that, im not.

im not ready for work.

im 23, and im not ready for work.

im not done studying.

im just not done with studying yet.

i forgot the whole point of this post after rambling about ^.

i need to get a life.

and i believe that my life starts, when i board the airplane to Korea.

You are Welcome 2pm.

2010-08-21T13:33:00.004+08:00

this is a bit late, but id like to share this clip of 22pm's surprise song to the Hottest during their concert entitled 'Thank You' (credit to the uploader).

most stars have this kind of songs. thanking the fans. but i think i felt it more in this song. this is not a tribute made by fans, its 2pm themselves singing straight to Hottests. following 2pm as early as they have just started, as a Hottest, this song means so much more than just mere 'thanks' and 'i love you'.

they have been through so much. since Jaebum left, a lot starts to blame them. how they did not ahve jaebum's back and continue performing as 2pm members w/o Jae. and Jaebum was the victim. correction. Jaebum IS A VICTIM. BUT SO ARE JUNSU, TAEK, WOOYOUNG, CHANSUNG, NICKHUN AND JUNHO. they are all victims of this whole unfortunate happening.

I believe in all 7 of them. no matter which path they take.

Hottest in the concert were just awesome. it really touched me. *watch towards the end of the clip and ull see* the aeroplane papers they threw to the boys has a msg in them. i forgot what it says, but something like, 'they'll be there for them' or something.

well anyway, the 2nd clip is Hottest reply to 2pm's thank you.

enjoy.

Donghae = one word, 'PERFECT'

2010-08-19T19:44:00.003+08:00

'perfect'

YOU ARE PERFECT DONGHAE OPPA! PERFECT!

XLR8 --- Ppop!

2010-08-18T00:31:00.003+08:00

These guys are so driving me crazy! the air around me warms up whenever i watch them perform! MJ & MM are the ones that caught my attention the most. followed by Aki...

If you see two dudes *the hottest* who looks the same, well, they are MJ and MM. twins. MJ sings more than MM, MM has bigger biceps. personally for me, MJ is my fav. who cares if they are 4 years younger than me. NOT ME!

still having trouble differentiating *sp? the twins? k, here's a clip that might help.
credit to the uploader!! MJ sings first, followed by SAM *the other dude, and than, last in green is MM.

*just a note: the clip says' AJ and Chase, so AJ=MJ and Chase=MM. im not quite sure what is up with the whole name changing. cause ive only started to follow them and youtube comments are monstly in philipino lang, so its difficult to get the story.

but im sure with a little bit of research, ill get the story.

enjoy!

eunhae madness

2010-08-16T23:56:00.003+08:00

thank you to the person who took this fancam AND uploaded it in YouTube

DONGHAE oppa was and still IS hot!

need i say much?

a visit to the dentist

2010-08-11T22:20:00.004+08:00

i went to the dentist today. i sat for breakfast with my parents and my youngest sister in the restaurant, but i couldnt eat anything. cause i had to keep my teeth all food-free before the doctor look at them. so i stared at my sister just eating like she had never tasted food before in her life.

so i thought the clinic was going to be somewhere ive never heard of, but it turns out, it was just next door to my mother's workplace. shocked the heck out of me. so we *my dad and myself, arrived around 7.35am. and already, we were no.40 in the waiting line. it was only around 9.30am that my name was finally called out loud. i went in by myself. which im very proud of by the way *applauds.

so i sat inside, more waiting. doctors were coming out from the cubicles. YOUNG MALE FAIR-SKIN doctors. imagine how my tummy felt right there. i prayed that i got the only doctor that was not in that category - Indian middle-aged man. he seemed nice, because he kept smiling. but yeah, unluckily for me, i got into a cubicle of a YOUNG MALE FAIR-SKIN doctor. he was nice and i was surprisingly calm and did not act like a total idiot at all. maybe i was thinking about my teeth the whole time.

so he asked about my problems. i said i had 5 teeth all on my left side, piercing into my gums, to my head. so he checked them out. and turned out, nothing was wrong with my teeth. he couldnt see any problems. i had ONE MAJOR problem however that might be the cause of my TEETHache. i rather not mention here. its too embarassing.

so he asked me to wait outside again, for another female doctor to take a look at my set of teeth. while waiting, i managed to strike up conversation with this family. a woman, her daughter *the victim, and i think was her boyfriend. they talked to me first. for the sake of the family i shall not reveal 'the story' here. *not that people will come in and read my blog. but nehoo.

the female doctor, i feel, was a bit annoyed at me. she kept telling me to relax, while she was doing what she was doing, but my body tense up anyways. its a reflex. its not like there's a switch button that i can just switch on and off. this is so similar to my last visit to the doctors. who CONFIDENTLY TOLD ME I WAS FREAKING PREGNANT! YEAH! I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! E V E R!

so as usually, doctors do not understand patients. they only see patients. if she listens to me, she will probably have a better solution to calming down my body before she did what she did. but oh well, government doctors do not have time to get to know patients because they're just too many of them to remember anyways. i do not want to go all angry again cause this is BULAN RAMADHAN after all.

so anyways, i had to sing to distract my mind. she was hurting my gums, and its bad enough that the whole reason why i was there was because MY TEETH HURTS! now i have to worry about my gums too. sigh. so my singing did not work, it hurts like shit. so i had to find another alternative way to distract myself. i started to curse. and swear. A LOT. it kind of work. every now and then, i had to pretend there's no pain, so i lay my whole body on the chair as if i fainted. seriously i tried everything i could think of at that time.

with my headache cause of the teethache, i only have so much brain power to help me get through that horrific hour or so.

so i went out with bloody gums and teeth all new. so yeah.

how many times did i brush my teeth today? 6 or 7. i lost count.

i HAVE to take care of teeth now, i refuse to GO BACK THERE. eek!

how do i feel now? well, it comes and goes. the pain i mean. its not really painful, just annoying. i think my brain is imitating the drilling sound in my head so im confused about how i really feel. or maybe, that's what i want to think about when really, it still hurts? oh gosh. my head hurts now.

i complain to much in this life. i need to be grateful. *stares blankly at self from the mirror*
maybe one day.

i slept in the afternoon after i finally ate a meal and a soluble pannadol. felt better immediately after.

because i was in pain from my neck upwards, i was not able to visit my grandma/auntie's house at 4pm. my sister went there, she represented our family.

my grandmothers' brother from Canada came to visit us the 2nd time. last time was years ago. today, he came back, with his wife and his children and grandchildren. i think it was their first time in Brunei. i dont think they are muslims however. cause one of the dudes has tattoos. well, they dont look asian at all. i think that's probably because my grandmother is half scottish, so her brother is too. it showed in his children's and grandchildren's faces.

all my grandmother's sibs family looks mix - xcept for mine.

So im bum *sp? that i did not get to meet them. but they are leaving back to Canada this saturday. i hope to go. and then i can meet them and take pictures.

that concludes my day.

toothache... or teethache?

2010-08-07T18:18:00.003+08:00

I have not been doing anything related to Universities/Masters since Friday, oh wait, that's yesterday. I kept thinking that today is Sunday. Maybe its because, everyone is home with me, well except for my dad that is, and my brothers. but anyhoo. I slept around 5am last night, because i had 5 toothache all located on the left part of my mouth! 3 was on the upper level and the other 2 below was killing me. I couldnt sleep. if i lay my head on the left, the pain went straight to my head. the worst headahce i have ever felt. and if i lay my head on the right, the bottom front teeth tripple the pain. i do not remember how i finally manage to dozed off. this afternoon, the headahce forced me to take a nap. but it hurts just the same as last night. today, only 4 hurts.

i feel like my left cheek is swollen. it felt like, someone is drilling non-stop in each of my tooth and then add cold ice cream into them. im in pain.

go to the dentist? usually when i have a toothache, it didnt last long and i just left it to heal on its own. today is a totally different situation. I might just have to endure it one more day. if by monday next wk, it still hurts like shit, then i will have to go to the dentist. let's hope i dont have to do that. i have nothing against dentists, im not scared of it.. but neither am i too fond of it. no comment i guess. as long as he does not drill - then we're on good terms.

Ms Congeniality is keeping me awake

2010-08-04T04:09:00.003+08:00

I declared yesterday and today, a holiday from Masters/University/Forms and such.

I have been under a lot of stress lately and its not good for my body.

so im playing a lot of board games these days : monopoly, congkak and snake&ladder.

and also, it is 4.10am at the moment.

i've been watching movies from YouTube lately.

just a few hours ago i was watching COYOTE UGLY and just immediately after that I load Miss COngeniality.

and im still loading the last 2 parts up.

im missing 2000-ish movies.

the millenium *sp? i used to have lots of dreams invented at that time.

everything was silver, sparkly, leather pants, leather top, new style and the list goes on and on.

used to think that 2000 was the Jetsons' year.

why oh why arent Hollywood making a Jetsons' movie? flinstones has their own.

well anyways, i better get along with the movie or i might not be able to wake up early tomorrow.

goodnight~ wait! its 4am -- GOOD MORNING!

My Life since my last post

2010-07-31T18:55:00.003+08:00

messy mess

^here's how messy my screen is at the moment^

so here's whats been going on. I'm currently struggling to apply both scholarship from MOE for Masters and Master's courses from Universities in South Korea and United Kingdom. So for those who know me, as in, REALLY know me, would automatically raise their eyebrows when they read 'United Kingdom' here in this post. Yes, so im applying to UK, even though from the roots of my hair to my *tapak kaki (excuse me right over here, im at lost of an english word for it) i do not wish nor do i even ever imagine of going there for studies.

do not get me wrong, id love to go there for a vacation, but i just do not see myself going there to study. one of my worst fears, is to be in a room full with english-speaking people who live their lives speaking english and i stare blankly at the ceiling and the walls and the floors, struggling to understand what they say. so i have no confidence in my english, there's nothing i can do about that. so i want to start new, Korea - is the place for me. where i have an excuse to sux in the language - i am a beginner after all. eventually, ill be able to speak the language - AMIN (one of the many reasons why i want korea)

well anyways, my problem here is this.

MOE do not HAVE a list of South Korean Universities approve by them. their advice is for me to just apply and if im offered a place, they will discuss amongst themselves, if i should be given the scholarship. another problem i have now, is that MOE do not approve of Philosophy. Im leaning into the course because its about generating ideas - creating stories that might be explanations to changes and events. guess what philosophy has evolve into today. SOCIOLOGY - amongst the three disciplines *sp? if im not mistaken. do correct me if im wrong.

so what better way to end my education, but by taking the very beginnings of the globally recognized social sciences - sociology, then to take philosophy? nothing i say. i want to take philosophy. but i know that i have more chance in getting a scholarship if i would have gotten 2.1, but that's not what im here to complain about - i have more chance in a scholarship if i take sociology. or perhaps, social research method. this is an MRes - so its not a taught course. maybe that should be interesting. all ill be doing is research, dissertation. so i do not have to worry about 'discussions' and 'presentations' and such. but ofcourse i will be presenting, just as long as i wont be PRESENTING OVER AND OVER AGAIN. i hate being the centre of attention. im not myself when im under the spot light.

moving on. so okay, after blabeering all them worries above, i find myself now thinking that maybe im not THAT worried that MOE wont give me a scholarship in philosophy and in Korea. cause i kind of have hope. but who knows - id probably be shot down before i even began spelling the word 'h.o.p.e'.

because ive never applied before, i never really know how it feels like - all them documents to copy and letters i have to get from people, and application forms i have to download, print, fill-in and send/scan. hard hard work. applying for Master's should be more quicker than applying for a degree. i mean, i wouldnt know that is. but what the heck. I just have to make sure that South Korea is difficult and impossible to get into, and ONLY THEN will i look into UK seriously.

the clock is ticking and energy is running low.

i need to re-charge.

EFFA SSI HWAITING!

Introducing LEGACI

2010-07-25T01:15:00.003+08:00

people people people! here are my latest obssession! *sp?

introducing LEGACI!

so i set out since yesterday to get a couple of IMPORTANT things over and done with but i ended up browsing videos from YouTube and today, my sister introduced me to LEGACI and im hooked! they are amazing and super talented! i cannot get enough of them.

hope you guys like them too~ enjoy~

More lost songs~

2010-07-24T00:22:00.005+08:00

credit to the uploaders

im sure ill post up more lost songs/music videos~~

two more great songs~

2010-07-23T23:32:00.003+08:00

more music videos back in the good ol days...

-- so okay, the 90s were filled with GREAT MUSIC, but im not forgetting early 2000-ish. those were the days.. when MTV were censored *sp? atleast the one i always watch. anyways, enjoy~

90s music were the BEST

2010-07-23T02:12:00.003+08:00

lets go back in time...

credit to the various uploaders

a few years back when YouTube first started out, it was very difficult to find all these clips and more.

so im very happy that tonight, im able to re-watch these.

there are more ofcourse, im still browsing.

ahh the 90s'... how i miss thee...

the time when music was pure music...

nothing is over-done - not the music videos, not the song, not the lyrics, heck, not even the outfits. ESP the outfits. today - i can't even stay watching MTV for more than 5 minutes. all the songs are meaningless. and when it has meanings, there's just so much power into it, that i find it hard to relate to whatever stories the artists are trying to tell. anyways. enjoy these for there are more in YouTube - if you remember your fav. back in the GOOD TIMES, search away~

donghae zzzz

2010-07-22T01:25:00.002+08:00

donghae oppa sleeping!

credit to the uploader.

donghae oppa slept with his mouth covered in this clip. i hope he sleeps like this like all the time cause that's how i sleep. =p just had to put this comment here.

Only You - epic movie

2010-07-21T00:26:00.002+08:00

one of the best movies ive ever watched.

this movie was in my top 10 fav movies back in the 90s, for weeks!

it never gets old.

Congratulation goes out to ME

2010-07-20T10:09:00.003+08:00

YAY

CONGRATULATIONS to me~

i got a call from UBD yesterday afternoon that my letter was ready. but i took it just this morning cause i was in the middle of watching a movie at that time i got the call. so i HAD to wake up early. 8am! it has been awhile since i woke up that early. the last time was the day i had to leave to KK. okay so it wasnt that long ago but anyways.

donghae in my dream again!

2010-07-18T13:19:00.003+08:00

these days i woke up to dreams that makes sense and strangely enough, i REMEMBER all of them as soon as i opened my eyes. like today. i woke up smiling, well, i was frowning at first cause i was forced to wake up and that detached me from my dream, but i went back to lala land almost immediately anyways. so i dreamt about a guy. who was mine. and i thought about it couple of times later after and i remembered! the man in my dreams, who was mine, WAS DONGHAE OPPA!

naturally, id smile.

its rare when i get him in my dreams. but this happened before though.

more donghae

2010-07-17T13:22:00.003+08:00

credit to the uploader

donghae oppa, soo hansome. he was all alone here, but sokay. he seem to be handling everything quite professionally. just want to post this up in here so ill remember to re-watch it over and over again.

Donghae oppa - strong heart logo song

2010-07-15T00:34:00.003+08:00

credit : uploader

DONGHAE OPPA's song for STRONG HEART is finally here!!

im so proud of him! i love this song! i love his style of songs. donghae oppa got good sense of music style. i love him! oppa! im proud of him! this song is going to be DAEBAK!

CLEO mobile strap anyone?

2010-07-14T15:46:00.004+08:00

so when i went to KK last week, i saw this mobile strap. there were 2 mobile strap boxes left. one of it contains, a white colour cat, similar to the one in the picture above, and the other box contained 2 cats, coloured grey and black. so when i saw the box with a label 'cleo' on it, i quickly grab without thinking. I HAVE TO HAVE IT! but i took the white coloured cat first, then i saw the other box - since my cleo is GREY, i need to have a GREY cat! so i bought the box with the two cat-mobile straps. my sister took the black cat-mobile strap and i ofcourse, took the GREY.

what are the odds of finding a 'thing' that looks and has the same name as your own cat? like seriously! it was a match made in heaven! so the first picture above, is the mobile strap i bought, on top of my cat - as you can see, her fur is grey. and the 2nd picture is just one i took on top of my table. i love this mobile strap!

as a bonus : here's the latest photo of my CLEO

My Class Degree

2010-07-13T18:37:00.004+08:00

so my class degree classification came out today. i went to UBD with my friend, mas, to check ours. a few hours later, i still feel the same as when i first lay eyes on my class honours. mixed feelings. im happy at one point, but then i feel depress in another. i wanted that second upper class badly. to think that i needed one more step to get there pains me. but on the other hand, no one received first class in my faculty. the highest class is upper second class. so that made me feel a bit better. knowing that, im amongst the 2nd's in my batch. at times i feel really grateful and the next, i feel down. i need to sort my feelings out the rest of today and the whole of tonight. tomorrow, im pretty sure, what i will feel will be fix. my family is happy though.

i congratulate once again, UBD class of 2009/2010!

4 years is a long time. ive had many downs in the UBD than i have ups. as much as people believe that i am anti-social, or may perhaps, do not know i exist at all, i still feel grateful that they are in somewhere part of my life. id probably know what else to say about my life in UBD once 'graduating' sinks in. cause as of now, i still find everything to surreal *sp?. does not feel real at the moment. im feeling a bit numb actually. maybe im speechless. 'pintu ka'abah' was open today, since yesterday. im not sure what time it closes. but i prayed as hard as i could for my life to finally get on the tracks. to finally began living. to finally live. amongst other things that is.

now that my class honours has been displayed, i have nothing else that i am waiting for. except for graduating in my robe *sp? that is. that will be the day when i will feel EVERYTHING. i better get my 'thank you speeches' ready for when i meet up with my batch and my lecturers. as for now, im exhausted.

Flood in HuaHo Mall in Manggis

2010-07-12T01:26:00.003+08:00

credit: erny

so last Saturday night, if im not mistaken. I went out with my sisters to HuaHo Mall Manggis and took a few shots of the flood in the basement parking lot. as you can see. immediately, when i went in, i knew i did not want to park out in the open like some of the drivers decided to do. it was pouring outside that night and it wasnt better under as well. i do not know about you, but i prefer to get my legs wet than my head and the rest of my body. so i parked down in the basement anyways. I thought it was one heck of an experience really. in fact, i really thought it was fun. we saw people yanking their pants up to their knee caps*? (lutut) and i even saw one dude in his yellow shiny boots. guess he kept them boots for such rainy days. but anyways, so i yanked my jeans up as well, and took off my shoes and plunged *sp? both my feet in the water. fun fun.

i remembered thinking when i went inside the mall that, those people inside, who were shopping, might not know what they have in store for them if they parked down in the basement. the thought of them shocked, made me giggle. i was so eager to let them all know what was happening. but i didnt. i just smiled thinking that i will go back in my car the same way as how i got off from it. before we left, i had to force my sister to take some shots of the scenery. its not everyday that you park in a 'swimming-pool' basement. there was this one girl, sitting in the passenger seat, with another girl driving, who took pictures as well. didnt hear this in the news tho. but then again, i do not really listen to the news - let along watch it. well anyways, just want to share this experience with ya'll.

future brother-in-law

2010-07-10T22:52:00.003+08:00

FIRST TIME I LISTENED TO DONGHWA OPPA'S voice!!

donghae oppa must be very happy that day.

he looked like he was going to cry indeed.

credit to the uploader~ thank you VERY much for uploading this!!

left cleo 2nights 3days

2010-07-08T22:49:00.003+08:00

went to KK with my family for 2 nights and 3 days. i believe it was a last minute decision, so the whole trip has more downs than ups. but i doubt my other family members see it that way. i have to admit that half of me, did not want to go on the trip at all, cause i did not want to leave my cleo all alone at home.even when i went to kuching n aussie, as much as i missed my cat, i know she was in good hands aka my sisters and whole family was with her. but this trip was a challenge for both my cat and myself. should there be a time when ill go on a vacation again, and for more than 2 nights and 3 days, atleast i have trained myself to get use to the idea of leaving her on her own and she will know what will happen. id probably sound crazy but before the trip, i wear ive talked to my cat a dozen time about the trip and how she will be alone for awhile, and I KNOW that she knows what was going to happen. i can feel that she was ready to have the house all to herself.okay, so im crazy about my cat - this is what happens when you don't have a boo-friend.

id post up pictures here from my trip, if i have some that are worth posting up. cause its not like i have a camera. so the pictures did not turn out so well. oh, im hapy to report that i FINALLY BOUGHT SUJU'S SORRY SORRY album! to think that i actually bought bonamana first.

suju MV minus KKH

2010-07-08T17:21:00.003+08:00

i just got back from KK and i was welcomed home by SUJU'S NO OTHER MV!

i waited for 3 days before i took off and it came out on the exact day i had to leave to KK

i LOVE THIS VIDEO!

its my fav video of all suju's video! its so fresh, so pure and so lovable! the only thing that is missing is kangin kibum n hangeng oppa~

if i have to choose my fav. proposal style from the members in the clip... ill take EUNHYUK oppa! and then, DONGHAE oppa~~ BUT I SERIOUSLY LOVE THEM ALL! well, im not sure what siwon oppa was doing tho'.....

KANGIN oppa off to army

2010-07-05T17:28:00.001+08:00

credit to the uploader

this is the first video released on kangin oppa entering the ARMY.

it will be 2 years until we will see him again.

i read in soompi that, heechul and eeteuk oppa will be joining him next year.

kangin oppa - I WILL MISS YOU!

SMTOWN 2010

2010-07-03T19:20:00.003+08:00

credit to the uploader

SMTOWN 2010... its depressing to see that dongbangshingi will not be performing together in this concert tour. having yunho oppa and changminie's name called out separately does not help much either. i really want to see them united once again. there should not be a wall between them. they should be able to see each other whenever right? i just hope that they are keeping contacts with each other. its so heartbreaking. i wonder what yunho oppa and changmin will perf. as solos? or duets? i cannot even begin to imagine further.

No Other - suju 1st perf.

2010-07-03T01:13:00.003+08:00

THANK YOU to the uploader!

suju oppa surprised me on yesterday's music bank in KBS2...

i knew i should have checked the thread further..

there was an increase of 8 pages when I went into suju's thread in soompi and i was just too occupied to check them out...

but regardless

I LOVE 'NO OTHER' and i cannot wait to watch their music video...

ive been waiting for 2 days now....

i really hope the video will come out soon....

RIP park yong ha

2010-07-02T23:57:00.004+08:00

SAD

yunho oppa walked pretty fast here...

its so sad to see so ji sub crying so hard...

and the woman near the end.. =(

RIP park yong ha

jaejoong oppa really wanted to be there.... he must be very sad as well...

eclipse!!

2010-07-01T23:36:00.003+08:00

ECLIPSE

so a friend of mine texted me last night, telling me that she was going to watch ECLIPSE today at 8pm. I was out at that time for dinner with my siblings. So i persuaded my brother to go check if there are still seats available. suprisingly, the movie is playing in SERI QIULAP MALL!!

i thought no seats will be left, considering how newmoon has caused me to watch the movie desperately from internet. I wont say much about that. anyways, so THERE WERE SEATS AVAILABLE!! AND LOTS OF THEM! there were just 5 people who bought the 3.30pm show that night when i bought the tickets. strange.

its ECLIPSE for goodness sake. where were the people? the fans?

maybe fans were so excited about newmoon and then got dissapointed just realized that maybe eclipse will be the same.

well..

NOT AT ALL!

i have to say, im loving eclipse so much more than twilight now!!! like seriously. the director is brilliant. i love it and i am really really eager to watch it again! possibly with my mum this time. cause my mum likes twilight. =p chick flick? well, my brother n father are not fans of the movies, but i doubt that its a chick flick. cause there were these 2 guys who went watching the movie as well together! and they are DUDES. they were even talking about newmoon.

i cannot describe in detail here, which parts are my fav in the movie cause i might spoil it for who ever is reading this and have not watch the movie.

after eclipse i am still... TEAM JACOB! =p

BROKEN

2010-06-30T01:23:00.003+08:00

right after JAPAN LOST TO PARAGUAY - the longest match i have ever watch IN MY LIFE!, i quickly went online to see the reactions of people. and I cannot NOT click on wikipedia. As much as wiki cannot be trusted for anyone who is anyone can just edit the info, i read through the lines anyways. there were no updates except for ONE SECTION that immediately caught my eye! i refuse to write it here as i REFUSE to start something nasty that IS NOT TRUE.

so i ran to each of my sisters in their respective rooms and told them the NEWS. they were shocked and i proceded down the stairs and into my brothers' room and asked him about it. He googled 2-3 pages and found nothing of that sort. so i ran back up, and re-read what i read before from thr web two more times before i clicked the 'refresh' button.

that section was not there! what i read more than 5 times, about 1-2 minutes before was gone.

then i realised, an anti-fan must have written that because he or she is pissed off about Japan losing to Paraguay, so he or she created that ridiculous almost a heart-attack story about KOMANO and quickly deleted the section less than 3 minutes later.

that person is DEMENTED! that he/she is!!!!! everyONE is upset for their lost! esp japan fans!! now i have no teams to support this world cup. both my fav teams - japan and south korea are out and i had to become a fan of north korea, but they lost as well. so i have no teams to support!!

okay, so i supported only the ASIANs, dun mean nothing. Its just that i happened to love both countries. Cant help it. I was a fan of Brazil and England once upon a time. But england sux this world cup year aka why they're out. and well, i guess i have brazil left. i just hope brazil can make it. though i did not follow their games. im broken.

parents KL brother KB

2010-06-29T09:45:00.004+08:00

so ive been watching 4men's clip this couple of days.

i wrote a bit about my obssession to them a few posts back.

the clip above is one of my fav. live perf. my them.

i sent my parents to the airport yesterday *to KL. and my brother came back a day before. he has exams in KB from yesterday till friday. so my sisters and I are alone at home. we were given the duty to think about lunch n dinner ourselves. okay, so this isnt really soemthing new to us. im in charge of sending my youngest sister to school every MORNING. i have not waken up so early since exams. which was last month. this will take a while. well anyways, there's just so much i have to do and such - in terms of house chores *sp? i better get a move on with them before they pile *sp? up.